My hometown scares me.

This was originally written on September 9,2010.                                                                                      


My husband's in Honor Guard and he really doesn't want to be. I honestly don't think it's going to be as bad as he's making it out to be. He keeps waking up in bad moods and what not. It's really annoying, but whatever.

I'm having to retake two classes because I failed them. I was just dealing with my husband and dad being deployed at the same time, my husband  moving back and me moving back to Arkansas though. I'm really glad to be back in Arkansas though. Every time I go back to Georgia I immediately slip into a major depression. I'm always reminded of dad's battle against drugs, being woken up in the middle of the night to the doorbell and my father yelling "Honey, let me in, I'm sorry it'll never happen again!" When I go back to that place it always feels like that just happened even though it has been many years. I've tried to tell my husband this but I don't think he truly understands. He just sees his friends and family there and is happy. That place is a hell hole to me, a big jar of my worst fears, nightmares, and memories. Maybe I just need therapy...