Religion

Yesterday was Easter Sunday. I didn't do anything. I didn't get up and go to a beautiful, heart warming, spirit filling sunrise service like I love to do on Easter Sunday. I didn't even go outside and read my bible or have my own little sermon. At first I felt wrong, like I was going to be shunned for not doing anything on Easter. Then I thought about it, I never go to church, unless my mom asks me to sing with her at the contemporary service at her church. What's the point in going on the big Sundays if you don't go any other Sunday?

I believe in God and Jesus, but I don't believe you have to go to church to prove that. I think God understands that church isn't for everyone, mostly because it's filled with judgmental snobs who have no right to judge you. The only time I feel right at church is if I'm singing on a stage worshiping. I don't really call myself a Christian anymore. I'm not. I don't live my life for Christ. I live my life for me and thank Christ for giving me a life to live. Is that wrong? A lot of people think so.

This post wasn't going to be about my dad, but this whole thought process kind of circles back to him. When my church back home found out about what my dad was addicted to, they kind of shunned our family for a little while. People would look at me like I was the devil, like I had done the drugs instead of my father, like I was going to end up just like him. I hated those people. Not everyone was like that, some people reached out to us and were as nice as could be by offering help and money, but I still can't believe people who called themselves Christians were being so judgmental. I thought God was the only one who could judge someone. At least, that's what Christian's taught me. They were being hypocrites. I hated that church for that reason.

For a while I prayed to God to give me the strength to show my face in that church and he did. He also got me through some very hard times. That was when i realized my problems weren't with God, they were with church and Christians.

I kind of feel like I should start my own religion. Be a good person, have a good heart, thank God for your life, and you're going to heaven... sounds freaking awesome to me!