Father's day

Well, as you all know, yesterday was fathers day, and what did I do for my father? I gave him a phone call. I just didn't have the money to go down to my hometown so I stayed home and did school work. For a while I felt bad about not being able to get him anything, but he said "baby you've given me a place to stay and took me to the beach, I'm pretty sure you've given me enough." He's right. I'm letting him stay in my house rent free and I'm feeding him. I shouldn't feel bad about not being able to afford a gift or card for him for father's day.

Something definitely pissed me off yesterday though. My brother didn't call my dad til after 3 in the afternoon, and dad was getting pretty mad about it. My brother isn't really a planner, he just kind of goes with the flow and doesn't really give 2 shits about anything. He does his own thing and doesn't care who he hurts in the process, especially if they've hurt him before. Dad was so mad he was telling me he was going to turn off his phone and just say "fuck it, my son doesn't care about me." I talked him out of it and said that he would call because he told me he would and he wouldn't not see his own father on fathers day.

You would think the thing that pissed me off was my brother not really caring about father's day, but it wasn't. It was the fact that dad expected my brother to go out of his way to call him when he himself has gone missing weeks at a time, hell he went missing a few weeks ago and was supposed to hang out with my brother. He blew him off for a one night stand, or something like that, and expects my brother to drop his life, spend money on him and forget that? I don't fucking think so, I don't care if is is father's day.

My brother is a lot different from me, the major difference being that he's not forgiving at all. If you fuck him over, that's it, he's done with your ass. What pisses me off the most is that I wonder if dad thinks like this with me. If I didn't call him all the time and constantly talk to him and constantly help him out, would he even call me. I'm the one who calls him, I'm the one who offers my help with him finding a job, I'm the one who gives him a place to stay and puts a meal in front of him, has it gotten to the point where he just expects it? I don't know, but I sure hope he appreciates the hell out of me, cause I could start acting like my brother and not give 2 shits anymore.

I don't know, maybe my dad was just hurt and covering up that hurt with anger. I really wish that my brother and dad could have a healthy relationship though, not that mine is, at least not a fully healthy relationship. I just wish they could get along without getting butt hurt when something doesn't work out. Sometimes I feel like their fucking mom, and I just don't feel like dealing with their bullshit. Yesterday was definitely one of those days.